- me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
- them: no
- me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
- them: we're not
- me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this
Just in case no one told you today:
- Good morning
- You’re beautiful
- I love you
- Nice butt
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
"…And then I said, ‘go make me a sandwich!’ haw haw haw."
"I don’t get it."
"What’s not to get."
"Why would she make you a sandwich?"
"Because… She’s a girl."
"You can’t make yourself a sandwich?"
"I can make myself a sandwich."
"Cool, go make me one too."
[Smooth Criminal plays]